Feb. 2012
weight loss to date:95 lbs(since Jan 2011)
Before After
I am so excited to be getting so close to 100 lbs lost total, but I am so much more excited about how it feels to be healthy. Granted, at 192 lbs, I may not be what most people would view as healthy, but I am the healthiest version of me that I have ever been. I sit and look through old photos of myself and keep wondering, "Why didn't anyone tell me how horrible I looked? Why didn't anyone question my health?" But, as they say, hindsight is 20/20. I only look back to motivate myself.
A couple weeks ago I experience my first "injury" since my transformation began. I was playing a fun game of dodgeball with the staff and kids at work. I literally threw the ball 2 times, got hit, and started to run off the court. I ran into another adult and over corrected my footing and ended up spraining my right ankle/foot. I spent that night in Urgent care waiting for x-rays. So, I taught the next day with a set of crutches and a wheely chair. :)
I think the most annoying part was having to take time to heal my foot. I couldn't do anything except for upper body workouts for a few days. After a week I went back to Zumba and have just been doing workouts as usual, but with a brace and maybe not pushing as hard as I usually would. I surely do not want another injury! I haven't been able to run yet, but I am really looking forward to it soon!
I got back to journaling all of my food this week. I downloaded an app in my phone so I can track anywhere I go. It really paid off and I am feeling like the last 5 lbs will be a lot easier to come off than I originally thought. All I really know is this:I will not give up. Once I hit 100( and celebrate with a tattoo) I will keep going! I just want to be healthy and happy. I finally feel like I am getting closer and closer to being as beautiful as my sisters!!
Transformation is happening RIGHT NOW!!!!
Weight Loss to date:92 lbs ( Since Jan 2011)
After hitting the one year mark, I decided I needed to do something that I have been waiting to do for a long time. I went and got my hair cut short again! I worked really hard to grow it out and I was ready for a big change. I didn't think I would like it, but I absolutely love my new hair cut!!
I am only 8 lbs away from my major goal right now, to lose 100 lbs. But the closer that goal gets the harder it seems my body has to work and the more emotional this journey gets for me. I have made some changes to my eating and have started going higher protein, and way lower fat. We no longer keep Diet Coke in the house, and I only have it if we go out to eat. Which, we have stopped eating out during the week days and only go out on the weekend and maybe only once or twice. I know I have to be more diligent to make better food choices everyday. I am doing a lot of reading and finding out what foods actually do and don't do for my body. I still have my treats here and there, but I am doing much better at controlling my snacking. I am also doing better with water intake. It is kinda hard during the week, because I can't just leave to use the bathroom anytime, so I have to time things just right.
I don't think I ever imagined that losing weight would be such and emotional journey. I always thought "Oh you'll be skinnier and that will mean you will love your body and be so happy". Ya right!!! I know everyone else sees the weight loss and compliments me on it a lot. I really appreciate that. But the hard part for me is that I look in the mirror and still see 287 lbs. I was teased a lot as a kid and teenager ( well pretty much my whole life) for being "chunky", "fat", "not pretty", "the fat friend" and so on. So, the hard part for me is not letting those names dictate my feelings. It is just really hard. My brain is used to a really heavy girl when I look in the mirror. I find that I constantly compare myself to other people and when I am not comparing myself to them, I am frustrated that I look so "huge" in my own head.
I know the Bible says we were created in God's image, so now I am going to work and pray everyday for God to help me see myself in HIS image instead of the one the world has given me. I am not going to let it bring me down. I have always seemed like a very bubbly, confident person. Truth is I was faking the confidence. If I made people think I liked myself, maybe they wouldn't want to make fun of me. A very smart lady (my trainer and friend, Brandi) told me this. "Fake it till you make it. If you hug yourself every day and say 'I love Me' you will eventually believe it."
So, here's to waking up everyday and telling myself "I love me!! Not just on the inside, but the outside too!!" I know God will help me through this.
Proverbs 3:5 & 6 says "Trust the Lord with all your heart! Acknowledge him in all your ways and He will guide your path". My motto for this journey! (and soon to be tattoo as well!) I will trust you Lord!!
January 2011
January 2012
January 10, 2011 was the first day of the rest of my life. I was 27 years old, 287 lbs and completely dissappointed in myself. I basically ate whatever I could get my hands on all day, went to work then sat on the couch all night. On that day I decided that enough was enough and I was going to get healthy! I popped in my Biggest Loser game for the Wii, and did an 18 minute workout. I rememeber thinking after 10 minutes that I was going to die, but I had to finish anyway. I decided to start drinking tons of water, and eating better.
I am so happy to say that today, January 12, 2012 I am 198 lbs and feel amazing! My initial goal was to lose 100 lbs in a year, but with the ups and downs of weight loss I am 11 lbs shy of my goal. I was a little disappointed in myself, but it just motivates me to work even harder to hit the goal and not worry about the time. I became a runner this during this year and now find running to be the place I let it all out! I am learning everyday to love my body (which is harder for me than I thought) but I know that it will come. I know there will be a day that I can look at myself (at any weight) and say "You are beautiful and amazing". Until then, I will keep running, working out, eating healthy and doing what I do to make each day better than the one before!
Thank you to everyone who has been reading/sharing my journey. You guys motivate and inspire me!!
Weight loss to date: 89 lbs
This is my last blog for 2011, so I decided to look back on the year I've had. We have had a lot of ups and downs here at our house, but never once did God leave our side. We are going into 2012 with some trials already, but I am confident that God will always provide and we will continue to trust His plans for us.
This was a year of a few heart breaks for us. I lost my beloved Sophie girl in May, which completely devastated me. Say what you will because she was just my dog, but to me she was my best friend and some days she was the best listener I could ever ask for. I miss her like crazy, but I know God is enjoying her silly little face up in Heaven. I also lost one of my uncles this year. I think the hardest part was seeing the pain my cousins had to deal with. In the midst of the sadness, I always knew that God would prevail and bless us for being faithful.
January was the start of a new Carla. I decided that I was not going to let my weight define me anymore and I changed my whole life. I never thought at that moment, how different my life would be a year later. I never quit and lost 89 lbs so far. I went from sitting on the couch ALL day, to running 5k's and working out as much as I can. I am blessed to have an amazing family and husband that push me and support me in everything.
I am sad to see some doors closing in our lives, but I know that for every door He closes, God will open another one. He blessed me with incredible friends and introduced me to some amazing new people this year.
"Trust the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will guide your path." This has been my mantra for the last year, and it will be for the next year. I am going to put everything I have into trusting God and His plans for our lives!
Happy New Year everyone! Make 2012 the BEST year yet!!
11 months into my Journey
weight loss to date:89 lbs.
I am so excited!! I finally hit "One-derland" on Wednesday of this week! I was really hoping to make it before Christmas and it feels amazing! What made it even better was that I keep losing putting me less than one pound away from 90 lbs. lost total since Jan 2011! I have been doing much better this week with controling portions and fighting the urge to eat all of the sweets that come with the holidays. Well, until I ate a bunch of cookies for breakfast yesterday. LOL! It was just one of those days I gave in. I weighed in at 198.6 yesterday. Once I hit 197 it will be 90 lbs total. I cannot even believe I am only 11 lbs way from my major goal of 100 lbs lost!!
I am now on vacation for 2 1/2 weeks from work with Christmas and New Years around the corner. My goal for the next 2 weeks is to workout as much as I possibly can, and eat within my eating plan and calorie count. This will hopefully mean cardio every morning at the gym and then some Zumba or dance video in the evening. I feel amazing and love that I am finally out of the 200's and I plan to stay out of the 200's!
Yesterday Matt and I ran a 3.4 mile route in the neighborhood in 37 mins and 13 seconds. I was so pleased!! I smashed my 3.1 mile record of 37 mins and 45 seconds. I am really praying to make it through the holidays and losing at least 2-3 lbs by New Years day. I know it will take hard work and lots of will power to walk away from the yummy cookies and candy. As I always say , "Don't worry, I GOT THIS!!!"
HARD WORK, DEDICATION!!!
I was just sitting here watching Biggest Loser and the contestants made a video from their old self to the new self. I was in tears seeing the things they said to the new self and decided that I need to do the same. So, I am gonna take a minute to write a letter to the "new" Carla.
Carla,
I am so incredibly proud of everything you have accomplished for your health these last 11 months. Please don't ever let yourself go back to the way it was before. And when you feel like giving up, think about how hard it was to be 287 lbs. Think about the struggle to do simple things like getting up off the floor and walking a couple miles. Don't ever let yourself feel that way again. You want to have kids so bad, so please take care of yourself so that you will live a long life for those kids you will have. You have so much more fight that you ever thought you would. When you get to that place when you feel like you can't do anymore, find someone that loves you more than you know and let them lift you up. Think about how great it felt to run your first 5K, or finally slip into a size that you hadn't been in over 10 years. Most importantly, never let that drive and determination die out. You are a fighter!! You got this girl!!
Weight loss to date: 87 lbs
I know everyone was expecting me to be in "one-derland" by now. While I am getting closer and closer I am still not there yet. But I realized this week that my journey is about so much more than a number. I have literally been obsessing about the scale and the number on it for 11 months. I got so distracted with the number that I didn't even stop to appreciate the other things I have been able to accomplish. So, I am going to take a few minutes to be proud of what I have done. I am not usually like that, but please just let me have a moment.
Thanksgiving day Matt and I (and our awesome running buddies) ran the Turkey Trot 5K. I woke up sick and not motivated at all, but ended up running the 5K in 37 minutes, which is a personal record for me!! I have been doing bootcamp at the gym for 8 weeks. I will never forget week one and how I pretty much wanted to cry because I couldn't do any of the exersizes. I was beyond excited when I did over 140 push ups (on my knees) today and for the first time EVER I held a plank position on my toes, not my knees!! I am really noticing that I am getting stronger and stronger. I am hoping to measure this week and see how many inches I lost in 4 weeks, so stay tuned!
I was mentioning to a few people at work my goal to be under 200 lbs. They kept looking at me funny. They were is total disbelief that I weighed 200 lbs. I automatically thought, "Oh, man I must look like I am heavier." But both ladies said they thought my scale was wrong because I look much lighter than 200 lbs. I know it sounds like bragging, but I felt amazing when they told me that and that's when it hit me that the scale will not control how I feel anymore!!!!
I wish more people would let go of that "thing" (for me it was a scale) that holds you back from true happiness.
