Thursday, February 16, 2012

Did you just cry over a hoodie???

Weight loss to date:95 lbs

Yes, I cried over a hoodie!  This is my favorite green hoodie jacket that I used to wear ALL the time.  It was a size 3x and I cannot fit in it anymore. Well, I can but it was not very attractive. Anyway, last weekend Matt and I went to a consignment store to sell some of my old clothes that are too big for me.  In the bags of clothes was my green hoodie. I guess I didn't realize it was in there until we left the store for them to price things.  Part of me was praying they wouldn't want it, and the other part of me was just thinking it needs to go to someone that will look good wearing it.  When we came back to get money for the clothes I saw my hoodie in the bin of keeps. I quickly took my money and ran out of the store.  I seriously bawled my eyes out all the way to the car.  We get in the car and Matt goes "Are you really crying about the hoodie?'  It was at that moment that I realized it was about so much more than a hoodie.

This was me letting go of the old person once and for all.  Once all of your "fat" clothes are gone, there is no going back. It's not that I want to go back, I just had a hard time facing that I am not that person anymore.  That person was good at faking people into thinking she was always fine and that she was healthy.  I was comfortable to be the invisible girl that people saw, but didn't really SEE.  That stupid hoodie was my comfort blanket and it was just a little hard to say goodbye. 

I should have know at that moment that I was probably gonna have a rough week.  I was blessed with some incredible people coming along side me this week, but it has been a struggle everyday.  I went out on my first run since the ankle incident, and it was just what I needed.  I needed to be out of my own head. 

I may have cried and still kinda miss my hoodie, but I am so excited about the person I am today.  I am feeling stronger, healthier, and more determined everyday.  I know people probably get sick of my posts on FB and my blogs, but this is what keeps me going. So for those of you that aren't sick of me yet....THANK YOU!!!! 

1 comment:

  1. Awwww! You should get yourself a mew favorite hoodie! Too celebrate! XOXO!